Multi-Billionaire Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Follow these five (5) oh-so-simple steps and I guarantee you will see your daily performance (work, studies) or relationships where you want to see improve, improve: 1.) Take 100% responsibilities for your own life We have heard of "take responsibility" over and over but what does it really mean? "Taking responsibilities" consists of 3 areas of 6 sub-areas (a-f): (1st AREA - INVOLVING OTHER PEOPLE)a. No more BLAMING other people > This means no more placing a fault/ your own failure onto other people... People who like to blame other people like to say, "because of you, I'm late to work"... "I cannot concentrate because my neighbor plays loud music all day"... "If it were not for my girlfriend, I'd be in bachelor party". "He always undermines me." "You're so stupid, why can't you do it right?" Wait, if it's not other people's fault, then whose fault is it? Yep, you. Once you decide you're not gonna blame other people anymore, you'll find "the fault" then automatically shifting to you... it's then up to you to:- self-pity in the fault- fix/ correct the fault Obviously, the right choice is for you to "fix/ correct the fault". When you encounter a problem, and you shoulder the "fault" (instead of blaming other people for the problem) and decide to fix/ correct it, you're taking responsibility. b. No more JUDGING other people > People who like to judge value other people before they get to know them, they like to say (to themselves), "ohhh he must be a druggie, he looks like one"... "I bet he's poor, look at his clothes"... "People are so [expletive]ing stupid"... Avoid this at all costs. If you cannot help judging other people, then let it be positive judgment and not negative, such as "oh he must be hilarious/ have a sense of humor". You can use positive adjectives such as: rich, kind, caring, gentle, warm, independent, positive, confident, generous, grateful, hilarious (sense of humor), strong, courageous, brilliant, worthy of love/ respect. Still, it's better to be NON-judgmental at all. Judging breeds blaming. (2nd AREA - INVOLVING OUTSIDE FACTORS)c. No more BLAMING situations, conditions, or events > If not onto other people, people like to place their failures onto situations, conditions, or events. Say to yourself that you're not gonna say things like "I'm gonna be late again today because of this mother[expletive]ing traffic", "[expletive]in rain ruins my day", "because of this wedding, I cannot go to ball game", "if I were not married, I would have been free and been more daring to invest my money in businesses." (3rd AREA - INVOLVING YOURSELF)d. No more BLAMING yourself but... e. No more MAKING EXCUSES for yourself > f. No more SELF-PITYING yourself>If you suspect yourself of having a habit of self-pity, then a good way to get rid of self pity is:- Gratitude: get yourself into habit of thanking and appreciating what you have/ who you are. Gratitude is the best cure to combat self-pity.- Selflessness: balance your "me" self with considering other people... the key word is "balance"- Self-confidence- Zero tolerance policy: as soon as you detect self-pity in you, make a decision to quit immediately 2.) Be grateful If you like to complain, moan, [expletive] about little things, surely you will be overwhelmed when it comes to bigger things in your next chapters of life. To put it into perspective, since we cannot choose where we'd like to be born, we have to consider ourselves (to us who live in North America, most Europe, Australia, developed Asian countries like Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan, Malaysia, China) VERY fortunate to live in the RICHEST countries in the world. At the cost of few dollars here and there, we afford ourselves luxuries and accommodation such as bed+spring mattress, clothes of our choice, colognes, transportation to go anywhere we wish, our favorite foods, our choice of entertainment/ activity, etc. In comparison, consider people your age who live in warzones/ poorest countries in the world, where it's pitch black at night, where there's no bed, no electricity (no internet!), accompanied by constant sounds of mosquitos or firearms... those who live in warzones often do not know if they will be alive in the morning. And if they're alive, they don't know what they should eat. Yet we still complain? Being grateful will INSTANTLY cure yourself of self-pity, [expletive]ing, moaning, that often prove to be one's own sharp thorns. Have a go and reprogram yourself into habit of saying AT LEAST ONCE a day: "I am grateful today for ___" The more things you have (to be grateful for), the better. 3.) Goal(s) Set a goal(s) and set a timeframe when you would like to accomplish them by. By setting a time, you turn your dream(s) into goal(s). Having a goal(s) is different than having a dream(s). Dreams are just... dreams/ wishes. But goal(s) with a planned set of timeframe of their accomplishments is the first step toward realizing them. It's then up to your action, determination, and persistence in turning them into reality. Having a goal(s) means you have a journey in your life that makes it worthwhile. You will NOT go through life feeling like being tossed around as if you're a chip on the waves of the ocean. You will have a destination from A to B (or to Z) in your mind. You will have a sense of purpose in life, unlike people who fear death or despair the seemingly unanswered meaning of life. See, having goal(s) will make you learn how to "drown your troubles" by being too busy to be annoyed by them. 4.) Smile Whether you're feeling great or like [expletive], try to smile. Research also shows that smiling sends a signal to your brain that you feel happy, which causes you to smile more, which causes you to feel even happier, and so the cycle perpetuates itself. http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/12/31/single.and.happy.newyear/index.html?hpt=C2 5.) Auto-suggestion Finally the 5th step is to reprogram your mind (namely your subconscious mind) to "accept" the 4 habits above. Auto-suggestion is simply repeating words over and over until "it sticks". Ever wondered why most (hell, maybe ALL) New Year resolutions don't last long? Because resolutions have everything to do with HABITS. And we know changing habits is difficult. Habits, such as blinking of eyes, breathing, picking nose, smiling, good habits, or bad habits are all regulated by the SUBCONSCIOUS MIND. Problem is: we canNOT directly send our message to the subconscious mind. Why? Because it is surrounded/ guarded by our conscious mind, which rejects any new thoughts/ habits from entering the subconscious mind. This is why, people making New Year resolutions will see instant changes in their lives, e.g. "I want to drop 50 pounds" and they start eating better and ditch fattening/ fast-foods. But the changes are also short-lived, because the message of "I want to drop 50 pounds" did NOT reach the subconscious mind. And after 1, 2, 3 weeks, before they know it, they get back to eating junk foods again because the old habit is STILL in the subconscious mind. The ONLY way for a message/ new habit to reach the subconscious mind is through auto-suggestion, where the message/ new habit is repeated over and over until "it sticks". This is why changing habits is also called "reprogramming your subconscious mind." There's no SHORT-term New Year resolution magic guys, the ONLY way to change habits is to reprogram your subconscious mind over the LONG term. So the 5th step is to do auto-suggestion on 1-4. Edited January 2, 2011 by Multi-Billionaire 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingfish Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 Got it. Thanks man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Make It Naaaashty Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 Great info bro! Thanks! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Multi-Billionaire Posted January 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 No prob guys just trying to pay it forward... (what I have from sources and send this info to you). If it means something to you, it means a lot to me. If it is meaningful to you, then don't pay it back, but pay it forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Multi-Billionaire Posted January 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 Just added the 4th step (Smile)... sorry guys, I forgot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 Not bad. Mostly stuff I think people know, but if more of us actually practiced these principles, we'd see some change. Thanks for sharing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Multi-Billionaire Posted January 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 ^No prob bro, thx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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