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The Regime
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GROUP B: "Only If They Asked To Leave"

 

8. Dirk Nowitzki

7. Dwyane Wade

6. Kobe Bryant

 

Our first three untradable guys. I covered the extended primes of Kobe and Nowitzki in a column three weeks ago, which generated a ton of e-mails like this one from Dave in Atlanta:

 

"Ten years from now, what are the chances we look back on your 'Defying the Odds' column the same way we look back at some of the McGwire/Sosa/Clemens columns from the late-'90s? When we pull back the curtain to find Rashard Lewis and O.J. Mayo traveling on the PED Bus, isn't it very possible that we're all being extremely naïve when it comes to NBA players and their advancements in the career longevity department?"

 

The only thing I'd disagree with is the phrase "extremely naïve." Sports fans in 2011 are prepared for the worst at all times; that's just how we're wired now. I didn't mention PEDs in that piece because the extended primes of Nash/Kobe/Pierce/Nowitzki/Bryant were reasonable; they maintained their previous level of success for legitimate reasons, without a Bondsian jump in numbers that would have raised a red flag. The NBA also tests for this stuff; until 2005, baseball didn't test for anything even as some of its best players were growing second foreheads.

 

My only concern: why fans don't make a bigger stink when there has been evidence that something might be up, like when Lewis played the best basketball of his career during the 2009 playoffs, tested positive for elevated testosterone that same spring (the results didn't come out until four months later) … and his career quickly went into the tank. If that had been a baseball pitcher who pitched lights-out during the 2009 playoffs, tested positive and fell off a cliff shortly after, what would we say? Why don't we care? Why do we think blood doping and HGH would infect cycling, baseball, football and track and field, but not a sport in which over-competitive guys run around and bang bodies for two and a half hours 80-100 times per year? OK, now I'm getting depressed …

 

 

 

 

GROUP A: "Completely And Utterly Untouchable"

 

5. Blake Griffin

And now, I am no longer depressed! I want to self-plagiarize a point I made on a podcast recently: However Blake's career plays out, we'll remember him as the first sports hero of the MultiTasker Generation. When Blake had a monster dunk, not only did you know about it right away, you practically saw it right away. Usually within 8-10 minutes. Like Jordan came to personify the mid-'80s -- crisply directed commercials, snazzy posters, trend-setting sneakers, highlights perfectly edited for the "SportsCenter" generation -- Blake personifies what's happening right now. You can watch every Clippers game on DirecTV or your laptop if you want. You can tweet during games with your buddies waiting for something to happen. If you want to skip the game and wait to be alerted that something magical happened, followed by your Twitter account exploding and the inevitable YouTube link getting forwarded around, you can do that, too. Either way, it's 2011 and you can consume Blake Griffin any way you want.

 

 

4. Derrick Rose

I still have him as the MVP. If you disagree, go look at the standings, try to find me 10 games in which Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah played together, then watch Keith Bogans play for 10 minutes. Derrick Rose did more for that team through the first 50 games than anyone else did for their team; doesn't make him the best player, just the most valuable. At least so far. Of course, we can't sleep on this scenario, courtesy of Tim in Troy:

 

"I think we could have a Hakeem Olajuwon/David Robinson situation brewing with the 2011 MVP: What if Rose gets presented with the trophy in front of LeBron before a Bulls-Heat Round 2 playoff game? I picture a standard LeBron Eff You game (40, 10 and 10, five mean dunks, sits for the fourth quarter) making Hakeem's shakedown of The Admiral look like a birthday present."

 

Great call. Yet here's the difference between Rose and Robinson: Rose would get ticked off by the Eff You performance, try to match it … and then it would be on like Donkey Kong. Have I mentioned how excited I am for the 2011 playoffs? I've mentioned that, right? We're definitely getting Boston-Chicago, Boston-Miami or Chicago-Miami in Round 2. Round 2!!!! Any one of those three matchups will be old-school, '80s-style, no-handshaking bloodbaths. I can't wait for the refs to get overprotective and screw it up.

 

 

3. Kevin Durant

With LeBron splitting shots with the other MoHeatos, it's hard to foresee a situation in which KD's 30 a game wouldn't take the scoring title year after year after year until he got bored … and that's assuming 30 is his ceiling, when actually -- if Oklahoma City added a low-post threat and Durant bumped up his 3-point shooting (34 percent right now) -- he could climb to 33-34 pretty soon. (The record: MJ and Wilt both won seven straight scoring titles.) So worst-case scenario, barring injury, he'll be a rich man's George Gervin.

 

And with that said …

 

Remember this past September. Turkey? The Baster Game? Why did so many Team USA guys make a leap afterward (Rose, Westbrook, Gay, Love, Chandler, Odom, etc.) and Durant went sideways? Am I picking nits? Were my expectations too high? Are his teammates worse than we realize? Did he already HAVE his leap, and that's as far as we're going? You'd think Westbrook's leap would have facilitated a second mini-leap from Durant, right? And further--

 

(Oh, that's right … he's 22. I forgot.)

 

 

 

2. Dwight Howard

A good test case for one of my favorite games (inspired by Chuck Klosterman): "Overrated, underrated or properly rated?" In the Internet era, we spend so much time dissecting things that it's hard to find something that's properly rated -- we either think someone's getting a little too much credit or not quite enough. Right now, there are only a few properly rated things: "The Social Network," Albert Pujols, Rihanna, Aaron Rodgers, Jennifer Lopez in HD, "24/7," Chik-Fil-A, Jim Gray, Dr. James Andrews, TNT's "Inside the NBA" show, prison … it's not a long list. In basketball, we could go through every name on my top 50 list and I could tell you why they're overrated or underrated, whether it's slight or substantial.

 

But Dwight Howard? Properly rated. Nobody has ever said the words, "I got into a big argument about Dwight Howard last night" or "I read this great piece about Dwight Howard today." He's one of the best players in the league, but you'd never make the case that he's the best. He's one of the most valuable players in the league, but you'd never say he's most valuable. We don't take him for granted, and we don't think he's overrated. He's Dwight Howard: the best center since Shaq, a franchise player for a fringe contender, someone who's very very very very very very good but not quite great. And that's why he's properly rated.

 

But the next guy …?

 

 

1. LeBron James

Underrated. Even as we're constantly overrating him. And I swear, that made sense when I wrote it.

 

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/two/110217

 

Thoughts?

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We're definitely getting Boston-Chicago, Boston-Miami or Chicago-Miami in Round 2. Round 2!!!! Any one of those three matchups will be old-school, '80s-style, no-handshaking bloodbaths. I can't wait for the refs to get overprotective and screw it up.

 

Very true, very exciting.

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